


The Tale of Tuberose Took of Tuckborough

by Snittycakez



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bilbo POV, Gen, POV Original Character, Thorin POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:06:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/726867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snittycakez/pseuds/Snittycakez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She curtsied, looking slightly ridiculous in her filthy attire. "Tuberose Took of Tuckborough, if'n ye please. Traveling saleswoman and licensed healer.Wares include natural herbal remedies, knit wearables, and the best handmade fudge on this side of Bree."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Weary Traveler

By the time she arrived within the borders of the Shire the lights in the houses had already been extinguished. The only sound signaling her arrival was the creaking of the cart's wheels and the soft clopping of her pony's hooves against the soft earth . The rider herself sat, slumped over in the seat of the small wagon, worn out and worn down from the trip that had led her there. "Ho, Coxcomb." She reigned in the stocky Icelandic, ignoring the miniature creature's indignant huff at being halted so abruptly. The woman swung herself down with a soft grunt, grabbed a rucksack from the back of the cart that appeared to have been made for an individual twice her size and made her way towards the round door that promised a bed and a warm meal.

As she stooped to turn the handle she paused to examine a rune etched into the freshly painted emerald wood. She puzzled over the mark briefly before deciding that comfort came before curiosity. Not a very Took-like thought to think but she couldn't be bothered to worry about inherited personality traits at the moment, not when the aroma of freshly baked cod beckoned her inside. Pausing just once more to scrape the mud off of the calloused undersides of her feet she turned the knob.

Thorin stood at the head of the table in the hobbit-grocer's dining room, having just silenced the racket of the rest of his company. He opened his mouth to continue chastising them when a slightly raspy voice interrupted him before he could begin. "Oi, Bilbo! What's with the mark on the door? Did'ye get into Farmer Maggot's fields again? I've told ye time and time over…." The voice trailed off as the speaker caught sight of the rough looking dwarves seated around the table. Thorin frowned as he took in the small beings appearance. Tendrils of brown hair strayed out from underneath the hood of a patched cloak, mud crusted the hemline of the garment and splattered the new arrival's threadbare traveling tunic. She was dirty, fat, and judging by her loud entrance, was also outspoken. He already disliked her. 

The stumped expression that had graced her features while Thorin made his judgements furrowed in confusion as she checked the engraved door mantle, unsure if she was in the correct dwelling. "Ummmm…pardon the interruption sirs. Is this by any chance still the residence of one Mr. Bilbo Baggins? Short, plump little blighter, brilliant at conkers…." She was cut off as the subject of her description struggled past the dwarves to smother the other hobbit in a rather tight embrace, not paying any mind to the state of her clothing, as the perplexed dwarves looked on. "Rosie!" He exclaimed. "It's been five years for Tooks sake! Not even a letter or a "Ow've you been?" NOTHING. I was worried sick! Did you even take a handkerchief?" The small woman he was still clutching gasped, her face steadily growing more red (Thorin found it hard to believe such a thing was even possible.) until she smacked his arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"There'll be time f'that later, now gerroff me, you're being rude!" She heard him mutter something about violence being unladylike before she turned to address the still staring dwarves. She curtsied, looking slightly ridiculous in her filthy attire. "Tuberose Took of Tuckborough, if'n ye please. Traveling saleswoman and licensed healer.Wares include natural herbal remedies, knit wearables, and the best handmade fudge on this side of Bree." 

The dwarves all looked at her with varied expressions ranging from vaguely amused to incredilous and annoyed before the friendliest looking of them responded. " Bofur, at yer service." He grinned and winked at her before nudging the dwarf to his right who responded to Balin. This went on down each side of the table until Thorin was the only one who hadn't answered. It was only when Tuberose prompted, "And you?" Did he grudgingly reply, "Thorin Oakenshield."

"Ah, pleased ta meetcha I'm sure." Her eyes were then drawn to the only person in the house tall enough to reach the ceiling. Bilbo noticed her body tense when the wizard met her gaze. She nodded stiffly, "Gandalf."  
He nodded back, sorrow seeming to weigh down on his shoulders before returning to his original posture. "Hello my dear Rose. A pleasure as always. Might I enquire as to what brings you back to the Shire, for I confess I am curious."

She gave him a tight lipped smile before replying. "A bit o' this an a bit o' that. Just came back 'cause I'm tired of sleeping in rabbit holes y'know?" If she hadn't have felt the need to inspect the bottoms of her feet again for dried mud, she would have noticed the flabbergasted looks on the faces of the company. 

" That, and it was along the way I'm traveling. On my way to Dale y'see. They got a new shipment of indigo wool and if I don't get there first, then those bastard merchants from Rohan will. Now, might I enquire as to what your business is in the Shire? Tis' nobodies birthday till next week so ye can't be selling fireworks." Gandalf chuckled at that. "Alas, not today my dear Ms. Took, I'm here on official wizarding business. Her eyes widened, intrigued. "You see, Thorin here…." He turned to gesture at said dwarf, "…has need of a-" At this Thorin quickly stood, knocking over his chair in the process and effectively silencing the older man with a harsh glare. 

Taking note of the waves of tension emitting from nearly everyone in the room Tuberose coughed lightly. "Well, as I said, pleased ta meetcha. Bilbo!" The hobbit who had been wringing his hands at Thorin's abusive treatment towards his chair, jumped at the sound of his name. "Yes?"

"Come be a honeysuckle and help me get this dirt out of my clothes would'ja?"  
He stammered, looking from her to the dining room filled with (once again) staring dwarves. "W-well, I-I-I…Oh, fine then." He barely had time to glare at Gandalf before being dragged away by the collar of his dressing gown.

Thorin waited until he was sure that they were out of earshot before growling at the wizard who now sat, unconcernedly puffing at his pipe. "Wizard, did I not stress the importance of this meeting being kept a SECRET." Gandalf waved off the dwarfs' concerns. "I see no reason why she should not know. She is a hobbit too after all. " He blew out a willowing trail of smoke. "In fact, it is quite convenient that Ms. Tuberose Took arrived when she did." He paused once again to add more Old Toby. Thorin narrowed his eyes, "Convenient?" He spat. "Pray tell, in what way was her interruption convenient?"

Satisfied that it was sufficiently filled, Gandalf returned his pipe to his lips and inhaling, leaned back into the chair making it clear to Thorin that he would not be rushed into answering questions. Observing how Thorin's fists clenched ever tighter with each puff, Gandalf decided it would be wise to not press the dwarven prince further.  
"Why, because I am of the opinion that she would make a fine addition to your company."


	2. That Fudge Had Better Be Worth It.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves argue some more, grumpy Thorin is grumpy, and hey, fudge!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating because a rather lovely individual wanted to know more :)

~ "Why, because I am of the opinion that she would make a fine addition to your company."~

The company did not appear to share Gandalf's view as his comment prompted an immediate uproar from all in the room, save Thorin who stared incredulously at the wizard. "We already have a burglar! Why do we need another?" argued Dori. "We can't afford to cart around another useless body."

"Aye." Dwalin agreed. "She wouldn't be able to carry a pack, let alone a sword."

"She's a SHE!" Exclaimed Kili. Nodding in support of his brother Fili added, "She'll want to bathe. Regularly. And she'll have…" Fili's face twisted into a look of disgust. "…monthlies. The warns will be able to smell it from miles away." The rest of the company looked highly uncomfortable with that reminder.

Ori raised his hand in the tense silence that followed. "But……she can knit?"

"And make fudge!" Proclaimed Bombur while patting his rather rotund stomach.

"She'll slow us down!" Gloin slammed his fist on the table. "A hobbit what can't steal is bad enough, but a hobbit woman?! That's asking too much of a dwarf!"

Gandalf listened to all of this without comment, his large gray hat casting a shadow across his face. Deciding he'd had enough of their bickering, he brought his staff down upon the table, cracking the thick wood where it had struck. "That is QUITE enough! Now, if you are done listing Ms. Took's shortcomings, I will now tell you how she will be an asset." Kili and Fili snickered at that before a sharp look from Thorin shut them up. Ignoring the two siblings immaturity, Gandalf continued, "Having spent much of her life as a traveling wares seller, she is familiar with a few of the lands we have to travel and has connections in the surrounding villages. Her herbal remedies have proved effective and in some cases, the difference between life and death." He sighed and sat down to relight his pipe. "Despite what impressions you may have received from Mr. Baggins, I can assure you that both hobbits are not entirely helpless. They will defend themselves if the situation calls for it and Ms. Took is quite quick on her feet." The wizard paused. "Though perhaps not the most coordinated." He admitted.

"An' how is she able tae manage tha'?" Bofur teased. "I doubt th' girlie could outrun a hedgehog on those wee legs o' hers." Of course, Kili, Fili, and Nori thought this was the height of comedic entertainment. 

Gandalf waited for them to sober before replying. "Ms. Tuberose Took has been without a proper home for the majority of her life. A situation most of you can relate to I'm sure." Thorin's face darkened. How dare he assume that a fat female hobbit could share their plight. "And has ventured farther into the world than most of you I'd wager." Thorin scoffed at that, drawing the wizard's attention. " I grow weary of your stubborness Thorin, son of Thrain. Decide. But know this, should Ms. Took not take part there is a greater chance that you would lose your burglar." Thorin didn't see the issue with that. The small thing had proved too easily excitable from dwarves alone. Mahal save him should he find himself in a company of orcs.

The dwarven king stood to address the group. "We shall put it to a vote then." He turned to Gandalf. "I'm still not convinced however. Those in favor of the hobbit females inclusion?"

Bombur on account of the fudge, Ori, Balin, Oin, Nori who simply thought it would be humorous to witness the hobbits reactions to orcs, and surprisingly Bifur, no one thought he was aware of what had been discussed as he had preoccupied himself by munching the flowers in the centerpiece, and Fili raised their fists. Fili shrugged upon seeing his brother's look of betrayal. "First of all, we need a healer who's not deaf…."

"EH? SPEAK UP BOY."

Fili rolled his eyes at the interruption. "And a capable burglar. And we do need a guide." He said with a guilty expression towards his uncle. Kili snorted and mimicking his brother, rolled his eyes. Thorin did his best to restrain himself from doing the same. Not a very kingly action.

"Those opposed?"

Dori, Gloin, Kili, Dwalin, and Bofur responded. Seven to six.

That hobbits fudge had better be worth this.


End file.
